Current mood:
bitchy
Las Vegas-Paradise, NV
BellaDotka's Blog
-
2010 Las Vegas
-
LYRICS I enjoy
Current mood:
..
cheerfulwhenever I'm alone with yousometimes there's nothing to feelThe Cure Fight lyrics
sometimes there's nothing to hold
sometimes there's no time to run away
sometimes you just feel so old
the times it hurts when you cry
the times it hurts just to breathe
and then it seems like there's no-one left
and all you want is to sleep
fight fight fight
just push it away
fight fight fight
just push it until it breaks
fight fight fight
don't cry at the pain
fight fight fight
or watch yourself burn again
fight fight fight
don't howl like a dog
fight fight
just fill up the sky
fight fight fight
fight til you drop
fight fight fight
and never never
never stop
fight fight fight
fight fight fight
so when the hurting starts
and when the nightmares begin
remember
you can fill up the sky
you don't have to give in
you don't have to give in
never give in
never give in
never give inThe Cure Lovesong
you make me feel like i am home again
whenever I'm alone with you
you make me feel like i am whole again
whenever I'm alone with you
you make me feel like i am young again
whenever I'm alone with you
you make me feel like i am fun again
however far away
i will always love you
however long i stay
i will always love you
whatever words i say
i will always love you
i will always love you
whenever I'm alone with you
you make me feel like i am free again
whenever I'm alone with you
you make me feel like i am clean again
however far away
i will always love you
however long i stay
i will always love you
whatever words i say
i will always love you
i will always love you
Drive - The CarsWho's gonna tell you when
It's too late
Who's gonna tell you things
Aren't so greatCHORUS:
You can't go on
Thinking nothing's wrong
Who's gonna drive you home tonightWho's gonna pick you up
When you fall
Who's gonna hang it up
When you call
Who's gonna pay attention
To your dreams
Who's gonna plug their ears
When you screamCHORUSWho's gonna hold you down
When you shake
Who's gonna come around
When you breakBabooshkaThe Cure Just Like Heaven lyricsFrom: Never for Ever
Written by Kate BushShe wanted to test her husband.
She knew exactly what to do:
A pseudonym to fool him.
She couldn't have made a worse move.She sent him scented letters,
And he received them with a strange delight.
Just like his wife
But how she was before the tears,
And how she was before the years flew by,
And how she was when she was beautiful.
She signed the letter"All yours,
Babooshka, Babooshka, Babooshka-ya-ya!
All yours,
Babooshka, Babooshka, Babooshka-ya-ya!"She wanted to take it further,
So she arranged a place to go,
To see if he
Would fall for her incognito.
And when he laid eyes on her,
He got the feeling they had met before.
Uncanny how she
Reminds him of his little lady,
Capacity to give him all he needs,
Just like his wife before she freezed on him,
Just like his wife when she was beautiful.
He shouted out, "I'mAll yours,
Babooshka, Babooshka, Babooshka-ya-ya!
All yours,
Babooshka, Babooshka, Babooshka-ya-ya!
All yours,
Babooshka, Babooshka, Babooshka-ya-ya!"1980 Kate Bush Music/EMI Music Publ. Ltd.show me
show me
show me
how you do that trick
the one that makes me scream
she said
the one that makes me laugh
she said
and threw her arms around my neck
show me how you do it
and i promise you
i promise that I'll run away with you
I'll run away with you
spinning on that dizzy edge
i kissed her face and kissed her head
and dreamed of all the different ways i had
to make her glow
why are you so far away?
she said
why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you?
that I'm in love with you?
you
soft and only
you
lost and lonely
you
strange as angels
dancing in the deepest oceans
twisting in the water
you're just like a dream...
you're just like a dream...
daylight licked me into shape
i must have been asleep for days
and moving lips to breathe her name
i opened up my eyes
and found myself alone
alone
alone
above a raging sea
that stole the only girl i loved
and drowned her deep inside of meSlave to Love Lyrics
Artist(Band):Bryan Ferry
Tell her I'll be waiting
In the usual place
With the tired and weary
There's no escape
To need a woman
You've got to know
How the strong get weak
And the rich get poor
Slave to love (repeat)
You're running with me
Don't touch the ground
We're the restless hearted
Not the chained and bound
The sky is burning
A sea of flame
Though your world is changing
I will be the same
Slave to love (repeat)
And I can't escape
I'm a slave to love
Can you help me? (repeat)
The storm is breaking
Or so it seems
We're too young to reason
Too grown up to dream
And the spring is turning
Your face to mine
I can hear your laughter
I can see your smile
"Fear Of Ghosts" - The CureLike a feeling that I'm down
Deep inside my heart
Like I'm looking out through
Splitting blood red
Windows in my heart
From a higher up than heaven
And a harder down than stone
Shake the fear that always clawing
Pulls me clawing down alone
As I spitting splitting blood red
Breaking windows in my heart
And the past is taunting
Fear of ghosts
Is forcing me apart
And the further I get
From the things that I care about
The less I care about
How much further away I get...I am lost again
With everything gone
And more alone
Than I have ever been
I expect you to understand
To feel it too
But I know that even if you will
You cannot ever help me
Nor can I
Ever help you"Every Breath You Take"
Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
I'll be watching you
Every single day
Every word you say
Every game you play
Every night you stay
I'll be watching you
O can't you see
You belong to me
How my poor heart aches with every step you take
Every move you make
Every vow you break
Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake
I'll be watching you
Since you've gone I been lost without a trace
I dream at night I can only see your face
I look around but it's you I can't replace
I feel so cold and I long for your embrace
I keep crying baby, baby please
"Hounds of Love"From: Hounds of Love
Written by Kate Bush"It's in the trees!
It's coming!"When I was a child:
Running in the night,
Afraid of what might beHiding in the dark,
Hiding in the street,
And of what was following me...Now hounds of love are hunting.
I've always been a coward,
And I don't know what's good for me.Here I go!
It's coming for me through the trees.
Help me, someone!
Help me, please!Take my shoes off,
And throw them in the lake,
And I'll be
Two steps on the water.I found a fox
Caught by dogs.
He let me take him in my hands.
His little heart,
It beats so fast,
And I'm ashamed of running awayFrom nothing real--
I just can't deal with this,
But I'm still afraid to be there,Among your hounds of love,
And feel your arms surround me.
I've always been a coward,
And never know what's good for me.Oh, here I go!
Don't let me go!
Hold me down!
It's coming for me through the trees.
Help me, darling,
Help me, please!Take my shoes off
And throw them in the lake,
And I'll be
Two steps on the water.I don't know what's good for me.
I don't know what's good for me.
I need your love love love love love, yeah!
Your love!Take your shoes off
And throw them in the lake!Do you know what I really need?
Do you know what I really need?
I need love love love love love, yeah!"Did You Get My Message?"
Did you get my message, the one I left
While I was trying to condense everything
That I meant in a minute or less when I called to confess
And make all of my stresses go bye-bye
Did you get my message, you did not guess
'cuz if you did you would have called me with your sweet intent
And we could give it a rest
'stead of beating my breast
Making all of the pressure go sky-high
Do you ever wonder what happens to the words that we send
Do they bend, do they break from the flight that they take
And come back together again with a whole new meaning
In a brand new sense, completely unrelated to the one I sent
Did you get my message, oooh oooh ooooh
Did you get my message, oooh oooh ooooh
Did you get my message, yeah, oooh oooh ooooh hooo
Uh oh, where did it go, must have bopped past your phone
And fallen right outta the window
[Rachel Yamagata:] ooh well, how can I tell?
Shoulda called the operator maybe she know the info
But whether or not my message you got was too much or a lot to reply
[Rachel Yamagata:] why not try this for a fact
Should you ever come back I'd relax and feel relieved
Before my panic attack
Did you get my message, oooh oooh ooooh
Did you get my message, the one that I left
While I was trying to condense everything that I meant
[Rachel Yamagata:] Now the moment is passed
Not much sand in the glass and I'm standing to lose my mind
Do you ever wonder what happens to the words that we send
So they bend, do they break from the flight that they take
And come back together again with a whole new meaning
In a brand new sense, and please be sympathetic to the time I spent
Did you get my message, oooh oooh ooooh
[Rachel Yamagata:] no I didn't hear a word you said
Did you get my message
[Rachel Yamagata:] no I'm not gonna believe your lies anymore
Did you get my message that I want to reconnect with you
Did you get my message
[Rachel Yamagata:] I can hear you say your coming but I don't hear
Why did you get the message love ?
That I want to get back with you
Did you get my message love
That I want to reconnect with you
Why did you get the message love ?
Did you get my messageKate Bush Oh To Be In LoveAs the light hits you,
As you shift along the floor,
I find it hard to place my face.
How did I come to be here, anyway?
It's terribly vague, what's gone before.*
I could have been anyone.
You could have been anyone's dream.
Why did you have to choose our moment?
Why did you have to make me feel that?
Why did you make it so unreal?
Oh! To be in love,
And never get out again.
Oh! To be in love,
And never get out again.
Oh! To be in love,
And never get out again.
All the colours look brighter now.
Everything they say seems to sound new.
Slipping into tomorrow too quick,
Yesterday always too good to forget.
Stop the swing of the pendulum! Let us through!**
Oh! To be in love,
And never get out again.
Oh! To be in love,
And never get out again.
Oh! To be in love,
And never get out again.
Oh! To be in love,
And never get out again.
Oh! To be in love,
And never get out again.
Oh! To be in love,
And never get out again.
"You And I Both"
Was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not to me
Oh things are gonna happen naturally
Oh taking your advice I'm looking on the bright side
And balancing the whole thing
But often times those words get tangled up in lines
And the bright lights turn to night
Until the dawn it brings
Another day to sing about the magic that was you and me
Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of
Others only read of the love, the love that I love.
See I'm all about them words
Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
Hundreds of pages, pages, pages for words
More words then I had ever heard and I feel so alive
Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of
And if you could see me now,
Oh love, no
You and I, you and I
Not so little you and I anymore, mmm...
And with this silence brings a moral story
More importantly evolving is the glory of a boy
Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of
And if you could see me now
Well I'm almost finally out of
I'm finally out of
Finally deedeedeedee
Well I'm almost finally, finally
Well I'm free, oh, I'm free
And it's okay if you have to go away
Oh just remember the telephone works both ways
And if I never ever hear them ring
If nothing else I'll think the bells inside
Have finally found you someone else and that's okay
Cause I'll remember everything you sang
Cause you and I both loved what you and I spoke of
and others just read of and if you could see me now
well I'm almost finally out of.
I'm finally out of, finally, deedeeededede
well I'm almost finally, finally, out of words.
-
My obsession # .... oops ,sorry can't count that far ..quotes...
Current mood:
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.rejuvenated
--Phil Donhahue
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.
--Robert Heinlein
It is never too late to be what you might have been.
--George EliotLearn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.
--Eleanor RooseveltToo many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like.
--Will SmithThe important thing is to not stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.A lot of people are afraid to say what they want.That's why they don't get what they want.
--Albert Einstein
--Madonna
It is important that students bring a certain ragamuffin barefoot irreverence to their studies; they are not here to worship what is known, but to question it.
--J. BronowskiThe only failure is not to try.
--George ClooneyAnyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young.Curiosity is one of the permanent and certain characteristics of a
--Henry Ford
vigorous mind.
--Samuel Johnson Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.
--Marie CurieThe best way to predict your future is to create it.
--Peter DruckerDo what you can, with what you have, where you are.Here's to the future! The only limits are the limits of our imagination. Dream up the kind of world you want to live in, dream out loud, at high volume.
--Theodore Roosevelt
--Bono -
What makes me laugh
Current mood:
lazyThe (Brain) Damage Has Already Been Done
Emergency Call Center | Germany(Note: 1-1-2 is Germany’s version of 9-1-1.)Me: “1-1-2, what’s your emergency?”Caller: “Oh my god! Help me! Help me!”Me: “Calm down, please. Can you tell me what happened, if someone is hurt and where you are?”Caller: “I’m at home, and my brain stopped working!”Me: “Your brain…stopped working? Sir, if your brain would stop working, you would be dead. Can you tell me exactly what happened? Are you bleeding?”Caller: “No, no. But my brain stopped working! At least half of it! Oh my god, will the other half stop working as well?! Will I die?! My wife was right! I can’t believe it!”(At this point, I’m unsure what to do. The man is really in a state of panic, but sounds otherwise fine.)Me: “Sir, is your wife at home? Can I speak to her? If not, please tell me exactly what you did when your…brain stopped working.”Caller: “I watched soccer! And drank beer! My wife always told me ‘When you don’t stop that crap, your brain will stop working’ and now it did! I was sitting on the couch and turned my head to look at the clock and suddenly I can’t move my head anymore because the left side of my brain stopped working! Help!”Me: “Sir, it sounds like you only cricked your neck!”(I start describing him what a cricked neck feels like and he agrees that this is indeed his problem and that he’ll see a doctor in the morning. I’m about to end the call, when…)Caller: “Hey, dude…”Me: “Yes?”Caller: “Is she right?”Me: “Who?”Caller: “My wife. You seem to know a lot about medicine and stuff, so can my brain really stop working from watching too much soccer and drinking beer?”Me: “Well, alcohol is known for indeed killing brain cells when you drink too much, but you won’t–”Caller: “Oh my god! Thank you! I thought she was only kidding me, but when you say it, then I’ll stop! Thank you so much for saving my life! Thank you!”Me: “Wait, I didn’t say–”Caller: *hangs up*Fpelling Is Fimple
Tech Support | Boulder, CO, USA(I’m trying to instruct a caller how to visit a website.)Customer: “It says ‘page cannot be displayed’.”Me: “Okay, please go to google.com.”Customer: “Okay, it came up.”Me: “Alright, it looks like we got the address wrong the first time. Let’s try it again.” *I spell out the entire URL*Customer: “It’s still not working.”Me: “OK, could you please spell it back to me?”Customer: “H-T-T-P-F…”Me: “I see what happened here. At the beginning we need to put H-T-T-P-S as in ‘Sierra’.”Customer: “OK, H-T-T-P-F…”Me: “No, not F as in Frank, S as in Sam. S as in sample.”Customer: “H-T-T-P-F…”Me: “Sir, no, we need to make sure that it is an S as in Sierra.” S as in solution.”Customer: *really upset at this point* “YOU’RE NOT MAKING ANY SENSE! F AS IN SIERRA?! F AS IN SIERRA?! SIERRA BEGINS WITH AN S!And Here’s To You, Fido Robinson
Veterinarian | Mountain View, CA, USAMe: “Hello, Mrs. ***, how can I help you?”Customer: “I’m very upset because you have my dog’s name before my last name here on this check-in sheet!”Me: “Well, hat’s because we print out the pet’s first name and your last name so we know who the pet belongs to.”Customer: “But this is horrible! It is though you are saying I am married to my dog! I’m not into bestiality!”Me: “No, it is more that we are trying to say that you are like the pet’s parent.”Customer: “You are saying that I gave birth to a dog?!”Me:” No…I’m really sorry, but the computer prints out the pet’s first and the owner’s last name. It is part of the system and I cannot change it.”Customer: “It’s the computer’s fault?”Me: “Yes. I am so sorry, but I cannot change the program. It does this for every pet.”Customer: “Then black out the name on the paper so nobody thinks I am married to him!”Step 1: Insert Foot Into Mouth
Computer Repair | Oregon, USA(I am one of the few women working at my computer store. One day a male customer speaks up near me.)Customer: “Wow, that’s a pretty big rack you’ve got there!”Me: *looking up from monitor screen* “…excuse me?”(I then follow his gaze to see him looking at a giant walk-in rack mount we have for sale.)Customer: “Oh, wow. I gotta watch how I phrase things.”Pepperoni Pizza With A Side Of Pointless Paranoia
911 Call Center | Montreal, QC, CanadaMe: “9-1-1, police, fire, or ambulance?”Caller: “Help, please God, help!”Me: “Sir, what’s the emergency?”Caller: “Someone’s trying to break into my house! Please, send the cops!”Me: “Calm down… the police are well on the way as we are talking.”Caller: “I don’t want to die! Oh my God, why me?”Me: “Sir, take a deep breath. Do you know this person?”Caller: “Yeah, I ordered some pizza, I paid, and he gave it to me. I can see through the window it’s him… he’s pounding on my door trying to get in! Where are the cops?!”Me: “Sir, I’ll stay on the phone with you if it makes you feel safer. Can you yell what he wants?”Caller: “Okay…” *yells toward the door* “What do you want, man?!”Pizza guy: *faintly, behind the door* “You forgot your change!”Aspirin(g) To Be A Better Doctor
Veterinarian | United Kingdom(My husband works for the out of hours service and drives/assists the doctors with their house calls. I’m a veterinary nurse and as we work in the same area we often see the same people. At 2 am, the phone rings.)Me: “Uh, hello?”Husband: “Hi, my love. It’s just me. The doctor has a question for you about some meds. Do you mind talking to him?”Me: “No problem, put him on.”Doctor: “Hi, we’re at a patient’s house now. She’s worried because she accidentally took her cat’s medication. The thing is, she’s decanted the tablets into a tub and has lost the label. Can you tell me what they are?”Me: “Well, give me a description of the tablets, I’ll see if I can recognise the med code.”Doctor: “The pills are round, white and have A-S-P-I-R-I-N stamped on them.”Me: “Seriously? Are you kidding me?”(This clearly sets the doctor off, as he goes off on the following tirade:)Doctor: “No! You said you would help! What’s your problem, for f*** sake! I have a patient that may be poisoned and you’re being a b****! It’s my JOB on the line here, do you understand that? MY JOB, I don’t know why I listened to that b**** driver what would you know anyway you are just some idiot nurse for f***ing animals nobody would give a s**t what you say you ignorant cow!”Me: “It’s an aspirin…spelled A-S-P-I-R-I-N.”Doctor: *prolonged silence* “I guess I should say sorry now, right?”Best Idea I’ve Heard All Day
Computer Repair | Auckland, NZ(The receptionist at our computer repair store was handling a customer at the front desk.)Customer: “Can you fix my laptop screen? There’s a big black mark on it.”(The customer opens the laptop to show a cracked screen.)Receptionist: “How did that happen?”Customer: “I closed it, but there was a beer bottle lid inside. It went weird after that.”Receptionist: “We can repair it for you, but it will cost approximately $1,000 as this is physical damage and not covered by warranty.”Customer: “I am not paying $1,000 to repair a stupid laptop! You are trying to rip me off, you little b****! It’s under warranty, I know my rights!”Receptionist: “I am sorry, sir, but we cannot replace the LCD under warranty and you will have to pay for it yourself if you want it replaced.”Customer: “I’m not paying, so you can go f*** yourself!”Receptionist: “That’s the best idea I have heard all day, thanks! I’ll go do that right now.”(The receptionist goes around corner and into back room.)Customer: “What the f***?!” *leaves, slamming door*Receptionist: “Is he gone?”Manager: “Yes, are you finished?”Disappointed By A Lack Of Disappointment, Part 2
Tech Support | Kennewick, WA, USAMe: “Thank you for calling Tech Support, how can I help you?”Customer: “My device won’t charge!”Me: “Okay, is it plugged in right now?”Customer: “No, but it doesn’t charge!”Me: “Okay, ma’am, just to cover all the bases, can you plug it back in for me?”Customer: “Okay, but it won’t charge!” *pause* “G** D*** it! It’s charging!”Me: “Well, it sounds like it was a one-time glitch, but if it gives you any more problems, please call us right away so we can get it fixed for you, okay?”Customer: “I’m not going to call you back! You’re just going to make it work again!”911 Grab Bag: Define “Emergency”
911 Call Center | West Virginia, USA(The following quotes are from various phone calls made to a West Virginia 911 line)1. “What are the Daily Pick Four lottery numbers?”2. “My TV is out.”3. “How much snow/rain are we supposed to get?”4. “Is it illegal to tape a cat to a bottle rocket?”5. “I want to report a fraud. The government is lying to us all.”6. “How high are gas prices going to get?”7. “Why am I getting Error Message #781 on my computer screen?”8. “I have never roasted a turkey before and my inlaws will be here in an hour.”9. “I am reading this recipe. What is fennel?”10. “I am doing my homework. What is the square root of 435?”11. “Are crabs in season?”12. “I wanna talk to a cop about my child support if you can drag one away from the donut shop.”13. “I just wanted to make sure you were all awake.”Quantity Does Not Equal Quality
Tech Support | Sacramento, CA, USAMe: “Thank you for calling Tech Support, how can I help you?”Customer: “Hi – could you send me one of your free connection CDs?”Me: “Sure!”(I pull up her account and see that she’s already ordered 50 copies.)Me: “Uh, ma’am? It seems you’ve already requested several CDs. Is there a reason you need another?”Customer: “Well, yes! I used up the other CDs already.”Me: “Ma’am, you can re-use the CDs. Have you been throwing them away?”Customer: “No. I put them into the little slot and they just slide in, and the computer keeps them. I thought it was like a bus ticket!”(I recommended that she go to a local repair shop. They in turn removed almost 100 CDs from the inside of her case.)Can’t See The Forest For The Airborne Trees
TV Company | Nashville, TN, USAMe: “Thank you for calling [TV Company], how may I help you?”Customer: “Yes, my TV is broken.”Me: “I’ll be glad to help you today. What is wrong with your TV?”Customer: “The picture keeps flashing on and off.”Me: “Okay, ma’am. Can I have you check the connections on the back of your TV to make sure everything is screwed in tightly?”Customer: “Well, the lights in my house are flashing on and off too. We’re in a tornado warning. Do you think that has something to do with it?”Defrauding A Village In Order To Save It
Call Center | Melbourne, Australia(A customer calls in wanting to cancel her son’s car insurance. After going back and forth for 20 minutes, she asks to speak to me, the manager.)Me: “Thank you for holding, Mrs. S.”Caller: “I want to cancel my son’s car insurance. Why won’t you let me?”Me: “Because the insurance is a legally binding contract between us and your son, and only he has the legal authority to cancel the contract.”Caller: But he’s been in London for months and won’t be back until next year. The car’s just sitting there!Me: “Well, we would need your son to cancel or authorise you to act on his behalf. He can call us on [number], or he could send us a fax with the details.”Caller: “Don’t be ridiculous, he can’t call from England! I’m his mother! I should be able to do it for him.”(We went round and round in circles for another 15 minutes, then…)Caller: “I’m going to sue you for sexual discrimination!”Me: “Sorry?”Caller: “I’m going to sue you AND your company for sexual discrimination.”Me: “Um, on what grounds?”Caller: “Because if I had gotten my husband to ring you, he could have pretended to be our son and you wouldn’t have known it wasn’t him. I’m a woman and can’t impersonate my son, and that’s sexual discrimination!”Why Husbands Should Play Boy The Rules
Call Center | Pittsburgh, PA, USAMe: “Hello, may I speak to Mr. ***?”Wife: “He’s in the shower, may I ask what this is about?”Me: “I’m just calling to find out if he would like to renew a magazine subscription.”Wife: “What magazine?”Me: “Playboy, ma’am.”Wife: “Just a second.”(I can hear the shower in the background.)Wife: *sweet voice* “Honey! Someone is calling to see if you want to renew a magazine.”Husband: “Which one?”Wife: *slightly homicidal voice* “Playboy…”Husband: “Uh…no, I don’t think I’ll renew that.”(The wife picks up phone again; her sweet voice is back.)Wife: “No, thank you. I don’t think we’ll be needing that one anymore!”You’ve Got The Wrong(est) Number
Call Center | Chatsworth, CA, USA(Note: our customer support number is close to a local driving school’s number.)Me: “Thank you for calling. How may I help you?”Customer: “How much for my daughter?”Me: “Um…”Customer: “She’s 16. It’s her first time. She needs training.”Me: “Sir, I think you want the driving school.”Customer: “Oh, what do you guys do?”Me: “Adult websites.”Customer: “Oh…OH! Oh my God!”Going Bananas
Veterinarian | Oildale, CA, USAMe: “Can I help you, sir?”Customer: “Yeah, I need to know what you can do for my dog. He’s really aggressive and tries to bite me and everyone. Do you train dogs here or something?”Me: “No, sir, but I can refer you to a trainer.”Customer: “I don’t have time for that I need advice now. What do you think I should do?”Me: “Well, sir, is he a show dog?”Customer: “No.”Me: “Are you going to use him for breeding?”Customer: “No.”Me: “I would suggest that you have him neutered as a first step; it will help calm him down. Also, enroll him in an obedience class, that will–”Customer: “Neuter him? You mean cut his ball off!?”Me: “Well…”Customer: “G**d***it, that’s so typical! All you feminist Nazis all just wanna cut off all us men’s balls!”(Just then, the main veterinarian comes out from the back to see what the yelling is about.)Veterinarian: “What seems to be the problem?”Customer: “I’ll tell you what! That girl there suggested I get his balls whacked off!”Veterinarian: “Now, Sarah, I’ve told you before we don’t treat exotic animals here, haven’t I?”Me: “Yes, sir?”Veterinarian: “Well lets not have this happen again…” *turns back to customer* “I am sorry, sir. We normally do not treat large apes, but since my person here already told you we did, I’ll honor it. When would you like to make the appointment?”Customer: *storms out*The Dog Isn’t The One That Needs To Get Neutered
Vet | Carbondale, IL, USAMe: “Animal hospital, how can I help you?”Caller: “Yeah, you got any prostitute dogs?”Me: “… what, sir?”Caller: “Prostitute dogs, do you have them there?”Me: “I am not quite sure I understand what you are asking me.”Caller: “My dog wont stop humping my leg. Do you have any dogs that are prostitutes that he could hump?”Me: “Sir, those don’t exist.”Caller: “How do I get him to stop humping me, then?”Me: “You could get him neutered. That sometimes helps.”Caller: “F*** NO! I ain’t choppin’ his balls off!”Me: “I am sorry, I can’t help you.”Caller: “That’s bull***t. I am going to find me a prostitute dog somewhere else!” *click*http://notalwaysright.com/
Does this include the ET's at Area 51? World's best kept secret I hear is the Alien Power Source buried beneath the desert. It's like ET Prozac I hear =) What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas =)